Tag Archives: climbing anchor

Nothing EARNEST or SERENE

Not very EARNEST  Alpine Anchor

Not very EARNEST Alpine Anchor

Imagine you’re climbing some alpine mixed route, and your buddy belays you up to this anchor. Hmmm…. What great time to review your climbing anchor mnemonics!  SERENE? Not so much:

Strong/Solid placements: Single boulder precariously fused into frozen pile of mud  (No).

Equalized: To what? It’s a single sling (No).

Redundant: Single sling  slung onto a single boulder is a single point of failure (No).

Efficient: Like the trains in Germany (Yes).

NExtension: Well if a piece should break the climber and anchor fall, what, 60 meters? Farther? How high are we again? (No).

EARNEST? I don’t think so:

Equalized: A single strand is always equal to itself, right? (No)

Angle: What angle? You need two intersecting lines to make an angle (No).

Redundant: Well if the sling breaks or the rock comes unstuck from the mud….um….(No).

NExtension: Yeah sure, there’s a lot of ‘extension’. But when the climber eventually hits the ground he/she will not shock load the detached anchor, so is that a yes? (No).

Solid/Secure: Sling girth hitched to boulder, boulder attached to…?  (No).

Timely: Oh hell yeah! I bet this anchor took less than a minute to build. (YES!).

Brad Farra sent me this photo. And I know who built the anchor, but I’m not telling (and no, it wasn’t Brad!). I can’t help but wonder if this isn’t a case of “desperate times demand desperate measures”. Sometimes you come to the end of your rope and, well, there just aren’t a lot of options–especially in the alpine. So you make due with what you have. I once buried a Black Diamond Viper in the snow as a ‘deadman’ belay anchor on Devil’s Kitchen Headwall on Mt. Hood. No ice to take a screw and I was out of pickets. It happens.

But let’s make no bones about it: this anchor is ultra Jive-Ass. Extra points for the old school first generation Petzl Reverso.

Location: Unknown, but somewhere in North America no doubt. 

Leather Belt Anchor Update

Remember the faux leather belt anchor from Oregon’s Mt. Theilsen I posted last year? Well guess what? Reports are coming in from the field that it’s still there. Below is a photo taken just this past weekend by climbing pal Ania Wiktorowicz.

Jive-Ass Faux Leather Belt Anchor Revisited

Jive-Ass Faux Leather Belt Anchor Revisited

This jive-ass anchor doesn’t look any worse for wear than when I encountered it myself last summer. Apparently it’s still attached to the mountain quite well.

“I tried wiggling it out” Ania told me, “…its bomber!” This was exactly my experience last year. The belt buckle seems to be jammed in the crack like a tricam. It’s a solid placement. Of course it’s not clear how many kN the belt buckle on an imitation leather belt can handle.

Here is a video of Ania and her find.

Another climbing friend, Jason Lee, confirms this jive-ass anchor’s continued existence with a similar photo. In this case, the jive-ass leather belt anchor is being taunted by a Metolious master cam, which makes for a nice juxtaposition I think:

Independent confirmation of Jive-Ass Faux Leather Belt Anchor.

Independent confirmation of Jive-Ass Faux Leather Belt Anchor.

Climbing Theilsen soon? Please send me a picture if the belt is still there.

Location: Mt. Theilsen, Oregon, USA

Ouray Jive-Assery

Jive-Ass Top Rope Anchor in Ouray Ice Park

Jive-Ass Top Rope Anchor

Here is some ultra fresh Jive-Assery from the Ouray Ice Park, in Ouray Colorado (which never disappoints).*

 Jeremy Lubkin took this photo just days ago. It’s an ice climbing top rope anchor. It’s not exactly clear what’s going on here, but something’s not right. As Jeremy put it “So much cord I get confused, but pretty sure it qualifies as Jive Ass.”

If I had to venture a guess I’d say the green webbing is some kind of overhand on a bight with the tail clipped into the carabiners, backed up with some black webbing, looped into the power point, and tied with a water knot. Textbook jive-ass.

Very nice locking carabiner redundancy though. Opposite and almost even opposed (one is flipped to create the opposing gates–as Michael Zasadsian pointed out to me). If it weren’t true that an anchor is only as strong as its weakest link, this would almost make up for everything.

Location: Ouray Ice Park, Ouray, Colorado USA

*That’s not intended to disparage the climbers at the Ouray Ice Park. Some really talented and skilled climbers climb there. It’s just that the uniqueness of this ice climbing ‘crag’ affords many opportunities for witnessing jive-ass anchors. You have a mile of top rope anchors at the top of Uncompahgre Gorge, which you can walk past. Odds are in your favor that you’re going to encounter something jive-ass eventually.